The frightening experience of not knowing where you are


 I have spend some in the last 3 months with someone with dementia and I have begun to understand what is troubling her. I just mentioned that she can't walk about anymore so she is more dependant on carers to find her a wheelchair sometimes she has to wait quite a long time because it needs two people to get her from bed into the wheelchair. So I suppose she wonders if they are actually going to do it

It must be very frustrating for her


It's this. When she wakes up in the morning or if she has a nap in the daytime and then wakens up, she is very anxious to know whether she is in the right room it's on the right floor etc so she feels afraid and will start to scream or shout but if someone comes in and says I want to go home they don't realise that she means she's not sure where she is is she in the right room they think she wants to go back to the home she lived in before she became ill.


Last night she was calling out and I'll say what s the matter and she said she wanted to get up she didn't want to go to sleep.

I gave her some reassurance I said this is the right room for you you're on the phone call everything is ok you you can go to sleep.

She has said first that she wasn't going to take her medication and the nurse was on the way around with it so I said to her well it is 8:30 p.m. and you've got a hot drink. It's night time now so it's the best time to go to sleep and then she said to me shall I take my medication then? So I said yes so then he seems quite happy I didn't want to stay with her long so I didn't. But she didn't shout and scream again this evening or is it I think I've hit the right explanation and what to say to her but can I get this over to the carers or the nurse?

Because even older people don't have dementia can have a cognitive decline so if it is possible to help people with that rather saying oh well she's got dementia so there's no point talking to her what she is saying is rubbish She's also puzzled  by how quiet the place is now. The dining room and kitchen are being refitted so when some people went home or moved to a different place they are not yet taking any new ones and so I said half of the rooms are empty and it has been very quiet since Christmas so she was relieved to know that it was not something wrong with her brain. She was pursuing something normal that everybody says it's gone much quieter.

I'm really surprised but I managed to get through to her what a horrible person I don't want to go near her. But I had befriended someone similar but she was not as an advanced in age and I could talk to her and understand their very easily but she did it also have a problem and being afraid that she wasn't in the right place and so so she would need to be told yes you're in the right place. Then she said to me when I can hear your voice I know I'm in the right place to

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