A lot to think about : Wandering through a Care Home

Emotional abuse (also known as verbal or psychological abuse) occurs when someone insults a resident or uses threats to control them. It is the most commonly occurring of all the nursing home types of abuse.1 Jun 2023

I'm not a unique being with a name. I'm one in a category of many. so put me into that box and I will no longer be myself I'll be defined by my white hair and my crooked feet I have no one to whom I am the first person in the world. o one Noone says I love you anymore

When an elderly person who can't walk or do very much goes into a nursing home and they feel very vulneranle being with strangers. that improves just an extent but then they become like a child, a baby it's not being weaned d and they very strong needs fors mother figure to be available to them whenever they need them constantly. To do one to one works there are not nough staff. the patient will ebecome very angry or very sad. KCIf they have a condition which improves or they're simply become more aware of the other people around them and what they can and cannot do and then they feel guilty about the worry they should do carers when when they were so helpless and anxious. and they've got physical problems they will not feel a lot better but there may be ablr to trust the staff more r arwmore grateful for what they can have that they will try to relate to the carer in a different way. I can see from my own reactions that I've never been very able to relax and f

We must be less deferential to doctors and nurses and anybody with a small manager role like a community matron who think they can tell other people what to do which without having listened to them or empathise with a perhaps we have the unconscious fantasy that people go into medicine whether his doctor or nurses or carers as radiographers etc because they love the fellow human beings and most especially babies or young children we imagine full of loving kindness We're all human and no one can live up to our ideals of perfection. how many people can resist the wonderful exteriences of putting down others all people the ones who can be attacked most safely are the old or disabled . for some nurses it's babies they like to kill or injure as we are seeing with recent trials in Britain. we are too idealistic about human motives.and when we look at our own lives it's easy to find we ourselves are guilty of this. Let's think about it. is it trivial or is it more serious and

I myself confess that I have been cruel to one or two people.But because I have written about it I was immediately aware about what was happening. There are people who it is very easy to hurt.They ask for the impossible and then whinge when they don't get it. and they put themselves into a submissive and they put themselves into a submissive role in a way.Sometimes we may need to speak to them firmly but we should not be cruel when I was in hospital for more than three weeks I became very frightened of one of the nurses. I had dreamed that someone I know was wearing army uniform and was standing on the next bed with a big gun they were shouting at me to get back onto my bed. Metal bars on the sides made it hard to get out. I don't remember trying to get out. before I went to sleep one of the nurses had washed me in cold water. I was very afraid of her and after that and after that I looked into people's eyes to see if they were safe. So I have experienced that weak role. so

Nearly everybody is cruel at times People don't become carers because they are more kind than other people on the whole or Some may feel like that. yet we're all shocked when we hear about or observe a cruel action. is low the hours may be flexible so it was fat women who've got caring jobs at home I They are not qualified for a well paid job and they only have to learn how to give people a wash if they are bed bound. Which of us can be sure that we will do it better now? There's another scandal today in the Guardian about a care home employing an 80-year-old nurse. she did not ring 999 when she saw someone's face was bruised and eventually when the woman got to hospital she got pneumonia and died. I believe that she was injured while being hoisted from a wheelchair into bedindicates just vulnerable people are.Th4 report said that she was not strong enough to help someone with a hoist but a Nurse does not usually do that kind of work. the job is mainly about medica

we all feel bad tempered at times and if it happens we have to control it when we are working. if we are working with vulnerable people we may be tempted to shout at them or even to push them. if we feel they are trying to manipulate us we may be right but that's not me and we can hurt them emotionally or psychologically. Perhaps we are overworking and tired. but we should tell our manager I'm not simply vent our feelings on the old person.

z Any of us can be unkind to other people or even cruel so while we criticizing people we must reflect on the fact that we might be projecting our own cruelty onto them. Much of the time we're not aware of what we're doing. so as well as trying to help people who have suffered people who have suffered from un kindness we also must look at own self and how we treat others. this can be very painful for someone who believes they are a good person. we may be good we may be evil we're probably somewhere in between and if a will admit to ourselves we have hurt other people then there's more chance that we will grow out of it. of course is it serious we must get professional help. so a carer will sometimes be unkind but the power structure and hierarchy of these homes may need attention. so

hi f Most people are cruel to other people in everyday life in a minor way although it may not feel minor to the person who's receiving the cruelty. Certain people bring out the worst in others by whinging and crying.So instead of thinking about what the staff do, maybe we should 3think about what we do when we are relating to other people. If you are too nice too kind however people will put upon you, sometimes you have to be firm or just walk away from the person Try not to verbally attack others even when they are acting stupidly. Their submissiveness maybe very tempting to a dominator but if we carry on like that society will get worse and worse. I have seen things which I regret having experienced. I have seen a very old person lifted and thrown back onto their pillow. I should probably do the same if I was working for a long time and I was tired. when you are alone person who is demented that nobody will believe what they say about you. it's the same in schools wit

We must be less deferential to doctors and nurses and anybody with a small manager role like a community matron who think they can tell other people what to do which without having listened to them or empathise with a perhaps we have the unconscious fantasy that people go into medicine whether his doctor or nurses or carers as radiographers etc because they love the fellow human beings and most especially babies or young children we imagine full of loving kindness We're all human and no one can live up to our ideals of perfection. how many people can resist the wonderful exteriences of putting down others all people the ones who can be attacked most safely are the old or disabled . for some nurses it's babies they like to kill or injure as we are seeing with recent trials in Britain. we are too idealistic about human motives.and when we look at our own lives it's easy to find we ourselves are guilty of this. Let's think about it. is it trivial or is it more serious a