A lot to think about : Wandering through a Care Home

ohttps://heritagehillsmc.com/nursing-home-stigmas-and-myths/

in most organisations there are some good people and there are some fairly good people so it's not all negative. it's party that people expect too much from the harrows and the nurse. while the nursing home will hit your loved one safe and clean and encourage them to eat or even help them to eat they cannot always spend very long talking to people and in anything else they're being told about 10 times an hour which is not very much and if they had any qualifications they might get a better page job but some people get a lot more antibute because they're like to be with others and to help others and to and talk to the other carers and so on and it can be a very good thing but you can't expect them to understand the latest things about communication communication. they will not have read books by psychotherapists and so on about how to listen better because you don't learn that at school and if you leave school at 16 and begin to work perhaps we get married chi

I I made an unofficial complaint when I being here for a few weeks and then I got a very angry deputy manager in my room telling me why did I not speak to her first before i spoke someone outside. I didn't know if she was the deputy manager I didn't know there was a deputy manager I suppose if I was a bit more with it I might have realized but I'm not that kind of person. I am a creative writer and poet. I'm not concerned about power and politics but I realized that's going to have to change. I didn't know terrible it was to be bed band the mercy of strangers. unfortunately my family do not live near me but that's no excuse. it is a situation which could be very dangerous for a certain types of elderly people .

I know it's hard being demented but it's also hard for other residents in a home to have to listen to someone screaming and shouting for ours and there is some places even doing it right through the night. but who listens to people in a nursing home? how you brave enough to think about what it's really like?

How will you feel if someone kept coming into your room up to 40 times ago wishing you good life and God bless? Some people may not marry but most people get distressed by this and start screaming and crying which is very disturbing to everybody else. I don't know what can be done but everybody is entitled she feel secure in their room and in their care home and there must be some thought given to what can be done. I'm thinking of involves someone who is bedridden but she likes to have her door wide open so that she can see people passing by but since the door is wide open this is tempting to a wandering person to go into the room to see what she can do or simply to say religious things like May God be with you

class="separator" style="clear: both;"> One of the patients here has got quite bad dementia and she is 100 year old and sometimes she screams and shouts saying I want to go home They ignore her because they think they know what she means because she used to have her own house.l they think she wants to go back to her house which is impossible because you can't walk but I have discovered that she doesn't mean that She means that she's forgotten where she is and she knows she should be in a place with a certain name let's say Edinburgh House so I say to her so you want to go to Edinburgh House do? then she says yes I say to her well you're in Edinburgh house now oh then it's all right for me to go to sleep she says and I say yes it's quite alright to go to sleep now because you are in the right place.Molly. she closes her eyes and she stopped screaming and she falls asleep everybody's delighted but this thinking would apply to othe

iif If you have a family member in a nursing home you probably believe that their medication will without this properly by a large it probably is. but even in the best hospital of mistakes are thode. if your relative is compost mentis, you think that they will be able to ask the nurse is what they're given does not seem to be what they normally get. this has happened to me but only 8 tumes. I would tell the nurse I thought it was wrong and she would thank me she would go back to the trolleys and medication and come 🔙🔙 and thank me. n mliin my view it should be checked by someone else. if you've got 15 people all on complex medication it is very difficult to be absolutely sure that you are right no no one evening the nest came while I was in the bathroom and she left my medication on my table. but I know I had a long ways other things three speckled pink tablets. I could not see these. I went into the corridor and found her and asked it come look and shesaid do you not trus

wandering around the corridors of hell looking for some person we can tell this is not irrational this is wise it's not just our dementia that's lie

my hair </div when I came here I was unable to

e it's not enough to be with someone for a few minutes unless you make eye contact with them. otherwise we also feel ignored. it is very very painful and it might be one reason why people wonder about it going into other people's rooms going into other people's rooms because

Ehen I was still unable to take more than two steps with a walker and was sspending most of my time bedbound some of the people who came to see me such as a Community Matron say something very cruel things to me and effe my sleep very badly. when I was in the hospital I slept well and when I first came to the home I slept all right and then gradually unpleasant things began to happen to me.,I made a joke about the tea not being very good. in a few minutes the crooked come up from the kitchen in the basement and was stating angry to me and I was really shocked by that in fact I couldn't walk then. there's no way of telling you what it's like to be so helpless and dependent on other people who are strangest to you and I imagine that if there was some way of doing it that sone people would commit suicide. The thought is on country of your mind and what can you do about it except endure? Helplessness can bring on depression it is well known in women who've just given bir

The face I loved to contemplate is gone The image dwel ls no longer in my mind I once was sad to see it when I woke Now I’m even sadder by mind blind All perceptions fade if not renewed The ones we loved the most still disappear Perhaps when we’re asleep then they return We are passive though our love’s sincere As I grow old, I lose their shape and form Yes I see the smile before he died. I helped him to the river and the boat Now he Is no longer by m

The face that was familiar is erased And now I feel the emptiness within A lonely heart,a mind that seems half crazed By losing him,how greatly have I sinned? The face so dear, seemed etched upon my heart I did not see the writing on the wall Now my heart is blank, how shall I start? Never love another in this life? Measure Mathematics on a chart? Learn the poet’s worth yet feel the knife? The dagger in the heart, the loss of blood Anaemic, faint and weak, where shall we go? Like the chained up slaves felt, where is good? The Arctic wastes of life, the frost the snow. I smile and look contented , understood My patient hands alone now sweat with blood

Like refugees demented people flee They have no plans no place where they can be In my nightmares I have felt like this No surrounding arms to bring us bliss The fear which seems irrational is not so Would you be patient with no place to go? Lucky refugees may find a home. The elderly are lost, they scream and moan Help me help me like a child they call. There is no Eden after that great Fall They long for death, the home they’re in appalls Where is the Ark to rescue these lost souls? They have nothing left to pay the toll Mother father husband and young wife Confusion takes the meaning from a life. They do not pray because they are locked out No church no Mass, no priest,no rites,but doubt. The piteous hands held out for us to grasp We turn away, unbearable the task Taggedacceptancedementiapoemverse.rhyme

</divo o Like refugees demented people flee They have no plans no place where they can be In my nightmares I have felt like this No surrounding arms to bring us bliss The fear which seems irrational is not so Would you be patient with no place to go? Lucky refugees may find a home. The elderly are lost, they scream and moan Help me help me like a child they call. There is no Eden after that great Fall They long for death, the home they’re in appalls Where is the Ark to rescue these lost souls? They have nothing left to pay the toll Mother father husband and young wife Confusion takes the meaning from a life. They do not pray because they are locked out No church no Mass, no priest,no rites,but doubt. The piteous hands held out for us to grasp We turn away, unbearable the task Taggedacceptancedementiapoemverse.rhyme

1. I want to go home because I can't lmake love to myself in a nursing home 2. I want to go home because I can't commit suicide in here. 3. I want to go home to find out in my relatives have stolen anything. and if they have I want to kill them and I can't kilim in a nursing home. this is humalour and it might even be ironic if you keep talking about suicide you might see a psychiatrist. well that would be better than not talking to anyone wouldn't it I'm just possible that if they're through her board and fed up you are they might set to see if you're depressed and give you some treatment for it. if you think you are depressed do demands to see your doctor as we're all entitled to see doctor if we want to

T ry not to lose your sense of humour but I'm not really sure how you can keep it but if you have a computet or a tablet computer then you can look up humorous roadsideness for example or you can look at Jewish humor or Irish humor or well the badly translated signposts in Chinese hotels. You could even try to make up some jokes by yourself.

i f you find yourself wandering around the corridors can you talk to yourself and ask yourself is there anything else that you could do instead of wandering. you may not realise how much you wonder if you have a poor memorz. is other people are irritated with you remember it might be something that you're doing such as going into their room too much. here are some things that you could do instead if you've got a smartphone you can look at your first of us slowly and with interest. you can put your radio on or use your iPad to listen to music. if your brain is still working listen to discussions on the radio what is it tonight. can you get a copy of the radio tiles or look it on your phone or your iPad find out what is on the more control you can exert the better. lesshe more anxiety and or depression

Peoplr who are not children are expected to be and expect themselves to be the agent of their own life. They decide what they do as far as they can given them out of money especially they have and given the people they are involved with. until recently in England a woman who got married was expected to do whatever husband wanted to dlo. if you are in in Nursing home can you be the agent of your own life? if you have sold your moved into the Nottingham family you've already made a very big decision. but you should make more like what are you going to do every day question mark Do you have interest in hobbies. are you going to pursue them are you waiting passively for the staff to tell you what to do or you're waiting for the staff to become your friends and then complain if they dont sut with your old hair long nursing homes are businesses. they don't employ a lot of staff and the staff are there mainly to the gifted the physical health conversations and to keep them clean

if you do it like going into nursing homes or care homes why not join a befriending service. and visit soneone or some charities do it by telephone. so you would ring one person probably an old person once a week to say half an hour and just let them chat to you and as they get to know you it will be nice for the very kind. it makes a very big difference to people to have someone to talk to although men are worthless it than women so I'm not sure what the answer is because men die younger. or just be more friendly to people in your street and say hello or how are you when you pass them don't just ignore them I have seen an old man cry because he said good morning to a young neighbour and she didn't reply because she was very introverted and lived in a dreamworld of her own.

I do not think it's a good idea for people to the segregated by age. do my surprise I have discovered that it is a very modern development beginning with the industrial Revolution says that ultimately would lead to older people being put into homes so the the younger adults could work in factors and mills and coal mines. and now it's gone even further to use women in the workforce it's become almost normal for even the mothers of young babies to go back to work in a few weeks. you might you could explain that by the price of houses but it isn't just that. they want to get all the adults between let's say 16 and 70 into work so the children and the babies are with childminders or schools and the old people are in homes like leopards on the edge of the community cared for by lowly paid women sometimey show a great deal of love. personally I found it very difficult being in a place with several demented people because they do not have enough staff to give them the ca

I always thought my daughter was stupid but she's sutpassef herself this week She was born when I was 25 and now she is in the secondary school because she turned 12. Well she was off school one day last week but I didn't know that she was playing hooky. The next day she told the teacher that she had this home with me because I was suffering from dementia so I had to lie down with a cold compress on my head. well there is early onset dementia but I am only 37 and I've not even reached the menopause yet. But the teacher believed her on the headmistress is going to someone see me tomorrow and find out whether I'm having any treatment. I'll give her some treatment if she comes here as she will not come back again

The wandering woman has been wsndering again Another very old lady is terrified of her and when she hears her walking stick tapping in the corridor she starts crying. but this wondering lady who comes to which is a good knife and God bless 20,30 or 40 times a day, is not so loving and peaceful as you might hope. in fact if thwarted she can be very aggressive well look at Christianity and look at the end of Henry VII and his son and his daughters. is son Edward who died 15 and his daughter Mary whose mother was Catherine of aragon were quite happy to have people of the opposite religious burns at the stake. and look at the inquisition which I did not know until recently directed at Jews who had converted to Catholicism but were always suspect like the Catholic church we decided to kill alot for fun. So being religious does not mean that you will be peaceful and kind

maybe if you were living in a place like this then like me you would notice the bad things a strange things the things that could be better and that no one wants to listen to you when you tell them. the carers have many failings but some of them are very very good people who open their hearts to care for us and make us comfortable. i I wear being paid the minimum wage I'm doing 3or 4 12 hour shifts a week, I don't know if I could be so kind. the humble all light the worms in the soil that we despise them sometimes and think I foolish even stupid there are but I have come to value people lu are not academic full of bootlearning and big words. I have to praise the people whose pulse beats with the pulse of the world. Why is I Q valued so highly? it's possible that Hitler would have done well on an IQ test and that is truly frightening.

when the brain cells die you can get serious cognitive decline and you can act as if you are psychotic maybe not all the time but sometimes. it's not very pleasant for people who are oh but not demented to be forced to listen to dementia people's screaming. surely special units adjoining the psychiatric hospital would be much better and safer for the severely demented who would gettreated by nurses on the NHS psychiatrist would have much better knowledge of what drugs will help them than GP will have. why are older people and make a seller houses to psy to nursing homes where the car maybe inferior although it's true that you get washed dressed have the laundry done etc but there is not much for them to do and the stuff have no special training in communication. it's opened my eyes and it has shocked me deeply while at the same time I made one of these people into the close friend and she died six months ago and I loved her

E Edna is alone in the dining room with the doors open so we said all hear her shouting she shouts the same phrase repeatedly help me help me what is sl the message for the other people nearby? in 10 years this might be you unless you stop paying your fees and then you might be living in the tent in a field somewhere better for you? I believe that nasty people live longer and even when they found and showed themselves they should make other people miserable but why do homers say they take people with dementia when they don't actually do anything for them? sometimes I hear them saying, we don't do one to one's hair in here. How the feeling and la lack of feeling and thought show me another ways see the next post or twob or jump into the nearest River. you will get more help there than you will in here

There is a lady of 100 here. she has got immensely and she shouts and screams for most of the day although if someone is talking to her she stops screaming. it's upsets the carers as well so one of them just told me but the thing is they go home in the evening and we don't go home in the evening and sometimes all night as well and then luckily that's worn us and sleep for a long time but in the meantime because I'm not feeling very good myself to day I'm feeling very sad. I hear her screaming even when my door is closed. She can talk rationally but she wants things that she can't get like she wants to go outside in the garden but she can't walk so she has to go in a wheelchair which needs two people to manage and since it's often only two carers on duty it is very rare that she can go outside unless summer I don't think I went outside more than once partly because it was too hot but when it wasn't too I would have liked her outside but I would ha

Even if you say that you will comb your own hair the nurse will still be say,dont forgwt. I think being put in that helps us position every day is a cause of depression. see Martin Seligman's book,Learned helplessness. depression is very dangerous as it will reduce your interest in things and your energy levels and so on but as long as you are clean and your room is tidy as nd ckean that is it as far as the staff are concerned

I find it hard that staff say but they will come and talk to me in five minutes and then they do not come and when it's something important and that is very upsetting. constantly waiting and if you are anxious is very hard. and then we can feel as if we are of no value or no importance to anybody at all because even when my neighbours daughter comes and she knows that something is wrong she speaks or writes to the manager or the deputy manager but nothing happens so she gives up despair can set in, once a new nursre came to my room and she said to me Gosh this room shows you are alive with your books and you r laptop your artwork and she said for many of the people this is if they're dead the room so clean and neat. and I have thought the same thing. when a carer just straighten my bed when I was bed bound she told me off for making the sheet crumpled by moving. I said I am moving because I am alive if I stopped moving I would be dead.