Intimacy and friendship

Although living in a care home can be extremely lonely, i it's possible to get very close to somebody. I got a very close to a lady of 100 who had dementia but it took time. the start with qu she the she was aggressive because I could not do what she wanted, but gradually got to trust me. after about 8 months she said to me one day that she knew it was me who was putting her blanket around because she said you are so gentle. then she said I love you. when she had been asking me to kill her ;that was quite a big advance. despite the fact that I had to leave the Home I don't think it's the wastr of time spending it with her. I think the fact that she felt she loved me which I think was genuine is good experience for her. despite the horrible boredom and frustration of her illness she was still able to make contact with another person and to be grateful for what she was receiving and I think even that small amount of care would give her spirit some comfort. Coming back into an ordinary street, I doubt if I would get so close to anyone. I don't think it was a waste of my time because it gave me much insightm

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dementia is physical illness

Image
 I have been visiting   two people with dementia. One who shouts and screams a lot is quite rational if you can get used to her and calm her,  and be  present with your body. Sometimes she likes to hear me sing,  to talk about her childhood  At other times she will say that But at times she can't control herself she can't listen and have a conversation so she is able to reflect.she can't walk and at the moment she is in her room all day. Extroverted so she doesn't like to be alone all the time but sometimes I've heard the staff sayings of someone in a similar situation. We don't do one-to-one caring here. We have got a lot of other people times look after. One-to-one caring is what you need and you could only get that in a different kind of home As it happens  there are fewer people here than there were. I think there may be something wrong and they're not taking new people so it should not be so difficult to care for someone like this. But on the other han
Read more

Meeting older people

Image
 Until recently I had never met anyone with dementia. Now I know three people although one of them died recently. It was interesting that they had the same diagnosis it's affected them in very different ways. One woman who had been a teacher and studied English literature at university tells me things about the other people she livedbmwith which I believed at the beginning. When she said that she could read the news on the ceiling I understand that I must be aware that not everything she tells me was absolute truth. She. never forgot to ask me how my family were and remembered the details. Another lady was normal some of the time but then at other times she was screaming,help me and her face looked full of bitterness. She had one need or something if you wanted the carer to do but then would have another one 5 minutes later so even if someone has just been to see her she wanted someone else to come these two women could not walk independently. I think that added a lot of strain and
Read more