Shock and delayed shock in a care home


 If you  had a nasty accidentp which led to  your being in hospital for weeks and then into a nursing home you may find your mind has been affected by this.

For example I could not visualisep my house from the outside nor remember what the rooms looked like  nor what the pictures on the walls were, nor the furniture This just went on for many many months. So when I thought of home I could only see our flat which left in 1977. I can see that too clearly

I came into  criticism from the nursing home for being very anxious but my husband was dead,my brother had just died and I think now I was suffering from shock.

 One of the symptoms I have w which got worse was the rushes of adrenaline as if I was in danger. I'l began to get  them in the evening and then I got into a panic state sometimes lasting all night .And  most staff just got angry with me for being distraught and for bothering them.  They said  they didn't know what to do so they claimed but what would you do with a frightened child in a strange place? 

They may have thought I have got dementia but I am  very intelligent and I think I would know  I am a writer of poetry and fiction . I have been able to write although at the beginning it was only for about twi lines in a poem and I used the visions of a tree outside the window. and a large powerful river not far away which I could not see  but I could visualise that in my mind at different seasons. That time I was not so affected by adrenaline and shock but it seemedvto get worse probably my sister trying to sell my house without my permission at least that's what it felt like with also frightening because one day I was in my house and I was ok except for arthritis and then all of a sudden there  I was in the hospital  being told by my sister that I could never go home again.Most people would find that a terrible shock. I was almost paralysed. So I wonder if it's a good thing I can I visualise my house maybe I can go back there but I couldn't think it.l before.I've been so terribly sad. I'm not sure how I've managed to get through the last 15 months but certainly the writing has helped me and I do not write about my own life I write about nature, sometimes about politics, I wrote about my grief when my husband died and learn to write new kinds of poetry such as the villanelle and the sonnet which I have not written before because I preferred free verse,to start with

I do not understand how people can survive in these places is it going to have something to their mind apart from the television.






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