Pray for the demented

They are like some other beings altogether the cry more animal than human The wordless pathos, musical,disturbing They have gone back to a troubled and unimagined infancy but no mother responds to such a nightmare of overgrown voice boxes the cry of a rabbit wolf in a trap it’s the shriek in the wall cry of a baby in a psychotic nightmare. Nicholas haunts Sylvia in the evocative memory of Ariel And so it will end for you and me Trapped in this old body with its old brain on and on they cry help me, help me,help me nurse nurse I want the manager I want the manager I don’t want to be here I don’t want to be here I want to go home Help me we don’t listen because they have dementia what they say has no meaning. that’s our defence I am the norm You are abnormal but you smiled when I asked you if you would like your hair dyed pink and I know you love the music therapist. Your smell repels Alas Is this where Jesus dwells If you did this to the least of my little ones, you did it to me. We you haven’t forgotten about Eros you are still hoping to find love you are not dead yet but you can’ wait to go home Published by Katherine

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Meeting older people

Image
 Until recently I had never met anyone with dementia. Now I know three people although one of them died recently. It was interesting that they had the same diagnosis it's affected them in very different ways. One woman who had been a teacher and studied English literature at university tells me things about the other people she livedbmwith which I believed at the beginning. When she said that she could read the news on the ceiling I understand that I must be aware that not everything she tells me was absolute truth. She. never forgot to ask me how my family were and remembered the details. Another lady was normal some of the time but then at other times she was screaming,help me and her face looked full of bitterness. She had one need or something if you wanted the carer to do but then would have another one 5 minutes later so even if someone has just been to see her she wanted someone else to come these two women could not walk independently. I think that added a lot of strain and
Read more

Intimacy and friendship

Image
Although living in a care home can be extremely lonely, i it's possible to get very close to somebody. I got a very close to a lady of 100 who had dementia but it took time. the start with qu she the she was aggressive because I could not do what she wanted, but gradually got to trust me. after about 8 months she said to me one day that she knew it was me who was putting her blanket around because she said you are so gentle. then she said I love you. when she had been asking me to kill her ;that was quite a big advance. despite the fact that I had to leave the Home I don't think it's the wastr of time spending it with her. I think the fact that she felt she loved me which I think was genuine is good experience for her. despite the horrible boredom and frustration of her illness she was still able to make contact with another person and to be grateful for what she was receiving and I think even that small amount of care would give her spirit some comfort. Coming back i
Read more

Dementia is physical illness

Image
 I have been visiting   two people with dementia. One who shouts and screams a lot is quite rational if you can get used to her and calm her,  and be  present with your body. Sometimes she likes to hear me sing,  to talk about her childhood  At other times she will say that But at times she can't control herself she can't listen and have a conversation so she is able to reflect.she can't walk and at the moment she is in her room all day. Extroverted so she doesn't like to be alone all the time but sometimes I've heard the staff sayings of someone in a similar situation. We don't do one-to-one caring here. We have got a lot of other people times look after. One-to-one caring is what you need and you could only get that in a different kind of home As it happens  there are fewer people here than there were. I think there may be something wrong and they're not taking new people so it should not be so difficult to care for someone like this. But on the other han
Read more