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Intimacy and friendship

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Although living in a care home can be extremely lonely, i it's possible to get very close to somebody. I got a very close to a lady of 100 who had dementia but it took time. the start with qu she the she was aggressive because I could not do what she wanted, but gradually got to trust me. after about 8 months she said to me one day that she knew it was me who was putting her blanket around because she said you are so gentle. then she said I love you. when she had been asking me to kill her ;that was quite a big advance. despite the fact that I had to leave the Home I don't think it's the wastr of time spending it with her. I think the fact that she felt she loved me which I think was genuine is good experience for her. despite the horrible boredom and frustration of her illness she was still able to make contact with another person and to be grateful for what she was receiving and I think even that small amount of care would give her spirit some comfort. Coming back i

In retrospect I see the love

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I miss the love that Merry gave me when she came in early so she could help me to shower. She touched my body gently as if I were her mother. She wept when she knew I was leaving. I thought sometimes that for the minimum wage you couldn't expect people to give of themselves butI was wrong. Leah was also a warm loving humorous woman.L I think they like me because I talked to them and made conversation. it takes a long time in a place like that when you're sent there in severe pain and you are frightened because you have no family near& you don't know what to expect. and I would say that several things that happened to me caused me serious trauma. After one of them I rang the Samaritans. That will give you an idea. but also some funny things, humorous happened Was it a number of the staff thought that I was very beautiful and my white hair was actually thought blonde so they're like to and they like my night dress that had no sleeves and one young Muslim lady said

And still Love remains

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I have been writing mainly about the bad side of nursing homes. but the love was probably greater than the unkindness and the cruelty.Of course most people don't think the way that I do Some of the individual carers and nurses were exceptionally good. Not just what they did but the manner in which they did it. We should all help by visiting our relatives or becoming a visitor to those who have no relatives because we need to keep the old frail people in our minds and hearts an really in our communities

The residents are paying for you would not think so

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Normally if someone pays for a service they are treated well but in the place that I was in you would not have felt so. really. in the NHS we don't expect to be treated we were private patients what's in the nursing home some of us might I think it's because we are not seeing them as having any power of choice or power to decide to move to a different home. I was unhappy very unhappy atll but I've got to know some of the staff and I thought starting again will be very difficult. there are some very very good ones. Human nature being what it is could it be improved by me moving I don't think so. in fact the resident may not have really wished to go there. but their family couldn't look after them so they had no choice.

Incarceration survived these to pleasure in nature

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The joy we may be lucky enough to experience when were return to our homes and gardens after being in hospital or nursing homes does not seem to last for very long because we take these wonderful parts of life for granted. I am thinking of sitting in a garden or a park near the rose display sitting near a tree watching squirrel or just watching the leaves of the up and down in the wind all these little things can be so beautiful when you've been incarcerated especially for two years or longer. I would compare it with a reading of books slowly and savouring it. Some of us rush through a book to get to the end and then we start another one. the day after I came home the doorbell run and it was a very nice looking young man delivering the parcel from Amazon I didn't seemed just amazing to see a person with a smile on their face looking at me when I have been in my room most of the time in theand never saw anyone. when it was warm I sat on my front step and just looked at my gar

Life after you escape from the care home

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Very few people leave a care home alive. I have done so but it's not easy because when we stop doing the things like planning our own meals or paying bills or even using the washing machine to my horror I have discovered one becomes afraid of them. so I have had to endure a lot of anxiety. sometimes I feel as if I am on the top of a mountain surrounded by mist. I am completely alone I don't know which way to go as I do each thing my anxiety gets less. I have managed to find a very good electrician.I am diffident with the neighbours because I don't want to be seen as a burden. but I am a really lovely person. I am very kind I'm gentle. I am also extremely intelligent but I hope this is not seen in the negative way. what can I have found the most wonderful things about being in an ordinary house is the light coming through the windows and being able to read a book in my hands and I can see it properly because my room in the care home was so dark I could only read thing

Become a self-funding leper or prisoner

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When you are old and have no one to care for you, you may have to go to prison. it will be more comfortable than many prisons for there will be hot water all the time And central heating. There may be a choice of food. These prisons are called care homes. and you sell your own house and all your money will go to the owners of the care home so you are worse off than people are going to an ordinary prison. You have to pay for your own imprisonment. You will be cut off for most of society like a leper. and you will hear people screaming every five minutes in some care homes. Beware When your money runs out the social services will pay for you but if you can it's better to die first. and and don't worry there a lot of viruses in

The downside of nursing homes

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https://familymattershc.com/disadvantages-of-nursing-homes Living in a nursing home can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation a primary cause of poor health among older adults. And for seniors with dementia, removing them from familiar surroundings has been shown to result in faster cognitive decline. 3. Loss of freedom and independence Older adults are accustomed to their own routines and it can be hard for them to adjust to a new schedule in a

My not wonderful new life

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When I got home after more than a year in the Nursing Home I thought I would enjoy the garden in the summer but after only two days I got a phone call from my GP to tell me that I might have got cancer and I had to go on the urgent two weeks NHS pathway. So far I have not received a diagnosis for cancer but the scans that they did showed that my spine had some abnormality probably a fractured vertebra. I have had a lot of pain but I did not realize it was so serious. but I'm glad to b at home again but it seems rather strange. the many impingements upon me in the nursing home were very hard to manage. it is a very sad place to live. Most of them are just waiting to die.In fact some of them lose as if they have died before there are actually dead Please visit your relative or friend as much as you can it really makes people feel so much better. even if they have dementia quite severely they still respond very well to their family.

Leaving a nursing home

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Some people go to nursing homes to recover from broken legs or other health problems but most people go there and stay until they die.